She withdrew her mouth and patted his penis dry with the bottom of his shirttails. It’s not like we’re getting married. She was an indignant queen, no doubt she was alarmed and disgusted within limits; but she was highly excited, and there was something, some low adventurous strain in her being, some element, subtle at least if base, going about the rioting ways and crowded insurgent meeting-places of her mind declaring that the whole affair was after all—they are the only words that express it—a very great lark indeed. He was half-German and half-Cuban she found out, and he was originally from Florida where his relatives and sister still remained. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. Everything was done in a genteel and ordinary way, but on the other hand, there was no lingering. And to wish not is useless, because you have told me from when I was a little girl. When I carried you up here like a bride, that is the way I wanted us to be, Mary Lucia. That is why I would not marry this man whom I did and whom I do care for a little.
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